Healthy Relationships for Adults: What to Know
There are different types of relationships.
You may have relationships with a life partner, children, family, friends, or coworkers.
Signs of a healthy relationship
A healthy relationship includes:
In a healthy relationship, both people:
Encourage each other to have connections with others and do things with other people.
Are willing to meet in the middle and settle problems fairly.
Share the job of making decisions about how to save, spend, and manage their money.
Signs of an unhealthy relationship
In an unhealthy relationship, one partner tries to control the other. One partner may:
Not communicate well.
Act rude or not care about the other person's feelings.
Lie or not trust the other person.
Try to make all the decisions for both people.
Control the money or have more access to it.
Demand all the attention and try to make the other person feel like they can't or shouldn't have other friends or hobbies.
Pressure the other person into doing things, such as having sex.
Signs of an abusive relationship
In an abusive relationship, one partner has and keeps power and control over the other person.
Abuse happens when one person:
- Hurts their partner with actions or words. They may:
Hit or hurt their partner.
Say things to make their partner feel bad or scared, like threats.
Control their partner's money.
Force their partner to do sexual things.
Use technology to bully or control their partner.
Follow or spy on their partner.
Blames their partner for things that aren't true, like cheating.
Makes most or all decisions for both people. These may include choices about sex, friends, and what to believe.
Keeps the other person away from other friends or family.
Says their actions aren't hurtful or blames someone or something else for how they act.
What can I do to form and keep healthy relationships?
Healthy relationships often take work. Here are some steps you can take to make and keep healthy relationships:
- Work on learning to communicate well. Try to:
Learn how to stand up for yourself. Clearly and respectfully say what you need and how you feel.
- Learn how to handle arguments well. Make sure to think about the other person's feelings. Do not:
Spend more time with people you have a healthy relationship with. Limit the time you spend with people who are mean or controlling.
Practice healthy relationship skills with trusted friends or family. Learn how to show others they're important while also caring for yourself.
Set healthy boundaries. Spend time with people outside of your main relationship.
- Get resources on healthy relationships from:
A health care provider.
A counselor.
A clergy member.
Questions to ask yourself
To make sure a relationship is healthy, ask yourself:
Are my needs being taken care of?
Do I feel safe with the person?
Can I be myself when I'm around them?
Do we listen to each other's worries and help each other out? Am I comfortable being honest about how I really feel?
Do we trust each other?
Do we hold the same amount of power in the relationship? Or do I feel like the other person is controlling me?
Do I feel good and happy when I'm with the other person? Or do I feel bad, sad, scared, nervous, or not appreciated?
Contact a health care provider if:
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You feel like you're in danger right now.
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You feel like you may hurt yourself or others.
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You have thoughts about taking your own life.
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You have other thoughts or feelings that worry you.
These situations or symptoms may be an emergency. Take one of these steps right away:
This information is not intended to replace advice given to you by your health care provider. Make sure you discuss any questions you have with your health care provider.
